


Parallel Lines

by NojusAmber



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Doubt, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:49:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NojusAmber/pseuds/NojusAmber
Summary: Lines that are always together but they never meet.
Relationships: Uldren Sov/Jolyon Till the Rachis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Parallel Lines

“What are we?” Jolyon asks. His voice raised barely above the silence of the bedroom.  
Uldren looks him in the eye. Half of Jol’s face is shrouded by shadow, the other washed by the pale starlight of the Reef. It enhances the shimmer of the soft strands of long silver hair Uldren holds lazily between his fingers.  
“What do you mean?” The Prince responds softly. His golden eyes giving away the frown that has appeared on his face.  
“I think you know” Jol’s tone does not change. He shifts his body slightly under the covers and Uldren can feel his bare lilac skin brush against his. “We have done this a lot, and I still cannot figure out what exactly it is that you see in me”  
“Isn’t it obvious? I see the most attractive sniper the Reef has to offer” Uldren tries to smile. Jolyon gaze’s shifts away, half-lidded eyes that hide the thoughts he does not dare to speak in front of his Prince.  
Uldren recognizes that look. He has seen it before. It tells him of a person that does not want to demand anything else, of a man that wishes he was satisfied with the gaps of information, of someone that has attempted to ignore the confusion that has originated in a lack of formality that had previously not bothered him.

Uldren saw it for the first time long ago, back in the Distributary. The flirtatious jokes they had shared for years culminated into a particular moment of mutual vulnerability that paved the way to their first afternoon together, with their mouths and bodies pressed against each other with an intense reciprocal need. And when Uldren went inside him for the first time, he saw that look; it briefly pierced through a thin veil made of Jol’s gasps of ecstasy, and that flicker of doubt had turned into a weight that sank in Uldren’s very core.  
In each encounter that followed, Uldren could perceive it. There were hints of doubt in the way Jolyon slid his arms around his neck, in the sensation of his fingers in Uldren’s hair, even in the pleasure that enveloped him when his now fellow Crow’s mouth wrapped around his cock. Underneath the fire that their closeness kindled, a speck of darkness refused to let itself be occupied by the light of euphoria. 

A breathy “I love you” once had escaped Jolyon between moans and grunts during another meeting in Uldren’s chambers. The words resonated in an infinite echo in the Prince’s mind. He did not stop moving, but he did not reply either. And when he glanced down to lock his eyes with Jolyon’s, like he always did when he felt on the verge of cumming, he saw it again. Those narrow, beautiful eyes in that half-lidded disguise. There was sadness in them, the same despair and disappointment that fills your being when that you desire the most is closer than ever, yet completely out of reach. Uldren did not want to look at it any longer. He closed both of their eyes with a kiss that he deepened and deepened with each thrust, like wanting to submerge himself in Jolyon’s and reassure him without words that doubts were unnecessary. Yet how could he do this, when uncertainty had even taken over his own thoughts?

The words were not spoken again, but Uldren could perceive how they laid on the brink of Jolyon’s tongue. In his kisses, in his touch, in the rushes of adrenaline after especially challenging missions in the field. Uldren hated how that one look replaced Jolyon’s smile when they shared happiness, whether it came from successful Crow operations or from their nocturnal moments with only each other as a priority.

And there they were, once again, like many other times before. The only thing keeping their nude bodies away is a few inches of air. But the parallel gap between the two expands with each second Jolyon’s question goes without an answer.  
An ‘I love you too’ is finally considered. He can do it. Uldren can speak those words and mean them. He can close the breach, he can make the sadness dissipate, he can exile the look from Jolyon’s expression forever. He just needs to open his mouth and say a simple sentence.

“Jol…” The Prince calls with a softness that was only kept between them. Jolyon does not move any closer, but his pupils link with Uldren’s, making him feel a level of nakedness that goes well beyond lack of clothes. 

“I…”

He gets stuck, he hesitates, and that’s enough to launch him thousands of miles back from where he was. The comforting sense of certainty, his usual self-assuredness, his overwhelming and, at times, insufferable confidence, is reduced to nothingness. Uldren loves the unknown, he maps out the empty distances between stars, he puts himself in the edge of the blade of death just to witness for a second what lies beyond the limits of the familiar, he creates paths in the dominion of danger just to say he did it first. And all throughout it, Jolyon was there, to protect him from the unforeseen risks Uldren adored, to pull him back when he lost balance in the edges of the abyss. Jolyon let him fly, but did not hold back from putting the Crow back in his cage when he felt a storm was coming. 

And Uldren can’t even say he loves him too.

The Prince sighs and gets closer to his companion, tenderly stroking his cheek and watching as Jolyon closes his eyes at the touch. 

“I am so happy you are with me” He finally says. He hates it. It’s not nearly enough and he knows it. Both of them know it.

He presses himself against the other, tangling his legs between his. Jolyon holds him wordlessly, burying his face slightly above Uldren’s chest.

‘What are we?’ still lingers in the room. It is meant to linger.

“We are together” Uldren answers in a whisper.

The gap remains open.


End file.
